unhappiness

i am not updating my blog as regularly as i should... and i am really scared of losing my memories just like that....

31 Mar 2011

had a hard time making an origami lily for suds.

he made me a kawasaki rose (the one that anxian did and taught) and i unfolded it to read the message he had so i decided to do the same thing back. LOL.

anyway it was from an online tutorial, and it was relatively simple, just that i gave up like twice, despaired from not having good origami paper, and had to pick myself up to start over again.

that night i kick myself in the ass for not checking my UWA webmail as i should, coz my group mates had tried contacting me from there regarding my debate "Media does NOT cause violence in children".

i had many alexander epiphany moments doing the debate last minute, and it was a thrill and fun challenge. while tash points were: "personality and predisposition of child" and margeaux's points were: "upbringing of child", mine were the "children caused violence in tv" (the chicken and egg theory) and "violence is indispensable in all media".

had a bad ending to the night when suds sent me home and he had to rush back to comfort steph who just had a breakup.

it was also suds' mum's death anniversary too.

1 April 2011

and then as quickly as the breakup came about, the makeup was as swift. debate was great, i was really happy even though we lost.

was happy that my lecturer allowed me to leave the class one hour earlier and had made us all do the current affairs quiz earlier for my sake. argh can't believe i didn't know whats TEPCO. it's Tokyo Electric Power Company. and A$1=US$1.32 now.

called to wish my sister happy 21st birthday at 1238am. she was having a party in a hotel room, thats why she hung up on me rrrr.

2 April 2011

wrote a freaking long letter to steph and got snubbed by her. i had suds to read the letter and he was really glad i wrote one. the letter was about explaining why i was unhappy about some things she write on twitter, about how she always puts her bf down saying things like "if your bf doesn't love you, you can be sure some other guy would be wishing to make love to her right now" and all the other angsty things, despite how her bf has done so much to cheer her up all the time and planning such a great birthday party for her.

and it came to my utter disbelief when she tweeted as a response to my letter 'real friends to right, fake friends to left. you obviously don't know me so your words don't matter'.

social media really sucks. it deals a much stronger blow than it would have in person. i was really hurt and pissed, especially when i have made it known to people i've been hanging out with that i am very insecure and i feel like i have no friends in perth.

how have i ever been a fake friend?! all i have shown to anybody, even my enemies, my sincerity in being the way i am, to be frank, to open myself to chats and discussions.

i don't need all these shit really. i don't need having to worry about stepping on stupid dumb princesses' toes and being all-accommodating like a servant. she wants to treat her boyfriend like a dog then so be it. i will not stand for that.

obviously she doesn't know that i won't even want to be near her, let alone being at her left or right. she can try to get her own singapore students luncheon invites on her own- having her at functions whining about not having enough cod fish while suds and i haven't got the chance to taste a tiny bit was really bad enough. i don't need the shit of waiting around at the bus stop for her classes to end so that we both could go home together. i really don't need second guessing all the time or people doing things behind my back.

i don't need to remind her to lend me the driver's books endlessly and having an outright yes or no. don't need her thinking that she can be the only princess around.

she can go stuff it for all i care.

and oh yeah that day before church service suds brought me to cockburn central for shopping. that place was pretty boring but it's nice to have a boyfriend splurge on ice cream cones.

after-service dinner at happy union sucked. basically my table had people who were not interested in making happy or being united. hate second-guessing... makes us all look immature babies.

cannot describe how much the people around me pisses me off so much right now.

3 April 2011

went to kardinya rotary market by myself way early in the morning, got a beautiful $5 bicycle and a $5 coffee maker for suds.

so happy it works!

the guy at the market was way too kind to me, selling me the bicycle from another vendor, oiling it for me without me asking him to, and wanting to deliver it to my place for me, asking me if i wanted to go the beach with him and his daughter.

internet at home got cut off. so is the people around my area. had to rely on going over to suds' house to tap on his. i am not surprised this happens, makes me wonder if we're in a first world country. even singapore can do better than this.

stuff it, hate going over to see stupid peoples' faces, looking like they are happy and at the top of the world watching stupid non-intellectual youtube videos.

insufferable imbeciles. don't think you are the only one who can be angry.