j a n e t

i told him off...

and said to try to see if it works out and not just quit before trying and crying before the milk can be spilt;

and said that matchmade marriages lasts longer than romantic ones;

and said that i want to be the woman behind the successful man, not a wannabe monk or confused boy.

AHHAHAHHAHAH i am so damm dramatic and crazy can. i didnt know what i was doing in the heat of the moment sms-ing.

why should i be so upset over things that i will have sooner or later. God will find a better one or cause this one to be better, for me. everything will take some time and i should know better than to force my way through things all the time.

the next time someone says i love you or holds my hand being all sweet and nice, i will make sure he means it. he will have to mean it like running across a whole floor of burning charcoals and not chickening out halfway.

i will not allow myself to ever be so easily taken in future... i will be that stubborn snake unyielding to the snake-charmer's pipe. i will be the stone cold statue with a non-penetrable heart of bricks. i will be the girl that will play hard-to-get.

i shall not allow my feelings to be played around like that anymore. no more silly chats in late of night or msn convos that last more than 50 lines or so. then i will be the nun like he wants to be a monk. i will be completely baffling like he is.

everybody! please help me to not be distracted and lose my resolve. guard my heart against all the stupid boys !!!