lamebook.com

funny site hahahaha! im a bit scared of what people would think of me when i actually clicked publish when i upload that album, ugh. i accidentally did it and i dont know how i could undo it unless i delete it and redo it from the start. :/ perhaps adding crushes to facebook is a serious mistake!

and i'm a little jaded from coming back to singapore with no proper friends to welcome me back boohoo! coz theyre like overseas too. feels like a "oh- you're back" kinda thing. of course i dont expect party poopers and etc but i think as i grow older, the less exciting friendships become. amiright :/ :/

i dont wannnnaaaaa write the starry nian's assigned testimonial thingie but i have to get my lazy bum off to do it soon. i'm like this freaking lazy thing that is hating sitting infront of the computer every other waking hour yet strangely finds herself drawn to it, and hating that it's like the best form of escape from my household that is slowly but surely driving me insane.

i wanna break free! i feel like painting and doing so many things but the lack of finances and my dad's constant cynicism breaks all the happy bubbles i build. heelllpppp. i just realised the aussie college fees would be double that of what i thought and promised him to be. he paid the $5k already and didnt expect to pay anymore, but there's another $5k to go! i thought it would be like $2k more expensive, but this is crazy. he would definitely not pay for the other $5k and now i feel duped. i feel like shit telling people that i would be going aussie. i feel shit that i could go for a europe trip and yet not be able to finance an education because he doesnt see the point of paying so much when i could just have studied in singapore.

it's not the same studying in singapore. i hate kum lim so much really. i hate having to see my parents quarrel over the same things every other day and my sister being such an ungrateful selfish brat. i hate having to rely on them so much and me being like the second maid of the house.

on a side note i think i get along really well with indian boys. why huh? i really really do enjoy talking to indian guys. they have nice and very nice laughs and smiles. not the bangla kinda guys and there is a difference between bangladeshis and indians!!!

the other day nurul's status updated about xiaxue and i went to check it out and SERIOUSLY! i cried while watching the nuffnang video where mike proposed. the story was soooo epic, like the kind of olden days romantic love stories where people across long distances finally got together. it's like one of singapore's best loved bloggers getting married. i'm probably feeling what people in UK feel when diana became princess diana. i'm thinking why i'm so bizarrely happy it's coz i feel like i have so much in common to xiaxue (she loves hamsters and pet society!!! can u believe it, pet society!! and maybe about complaining people on blogs too.) her blog posts, other than the advertorial ones, are quite intelligent, in my HONEST opinion. anyway i'm just so happy for her!

okk better be off to bed. was 6am when i knocked off yesterday. i better knock off at 430am and its 407am now.