2 days

thursday
no school day!!! so i took chloe, lucky and the maid to the nearby neighbourhood mall, gek poh (hahahha i hate that name too) to get bubble tea. chloe's growing really fast! it can now pronounce lucky's name but not mine! sad! she's also able to recognise bicycles i think. like knowing how to point out which is my mum's bicycle hahaha. think she wants one of her own too.

picking up some other kid's bike! TSK!

i said to her, "chloe! lets go! bye bye!!"
but all she did was to grab that bicycle and gave me that look

took forever to get her out of there!

she strolls without any urgency, really! arrrrrhhh.

holding onto the house keys

then later in the evening was sushi with royston and anxian. i was hungry and pretty much sweep off the 5 plates of mine


friday
ms hui kam lin is arggghghhhh! anyway she made us go do this 1hr go out write a picture story then come back, which is annoying. she never did that in the past module and these things should be done in the second module. also she gives only 1 hour and expects us to come back with a great picture story! i tried interviewing this chinese medicine hall doctor and he was like "why your school keep sending people to do interviews? i have already done so many! if every student does this, how to do business?" and rejected my many pleas, especially for a photo since it is a picture story.

times like this really make me discontinue pursuing journalism. it's so tough to get someone to do an interview! i hate spoiling the initial good rapport with someone once they believe that i am befriending them to get the story.

the bible study creeped me out, now i am so scared of spotting little demons or spirits. stupid me forgot and went out at 5am to transfer money for this online purchases and felt spooked. and pastor kong's really brave to tell the story of his infatuation even while he was married. "i dreamt i was having a full-blown affair" woah.

before the bible study started i had a run-in with the cell group sitting next to us and i got emotional and angry, leaving during worship because i did not feel like lifting my spirits. i do think that they lied to me and wendy about their members being here even though theyre not (i counted the number of bags they had vs the number of seats) and the girl said they went to the toilet. i dont think anyone should LIE and it sucks to use such tactics in a CHURCH just to get seats. does not make sense- why do you do bible study for? and then the guy adjacent was so into the praise and worship, i felt really angry. like why is this hypocrite robbing me of the chance to praise and worship God properly. the more i thought, the angrier i became. i went off to the toilet before i could distract everyone else from p&w.

wendy says i have to forgive 7x7=49 times, ie total forgiveness, but i cannot, let, go.

i cannot i cannot i cannot i cannot. even though i may have a spirit of unforgiveness that will consume me in the future, i cannot. not immediately. not maybe in a week's time. until a tit-for-tat, until i learn a bitter lesson, till then i would like to hold it like poison that i cannot violently spew out, eating me inside out.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr whatever. my parents are in malaysia for my maternal grandmother's funeral. it's 546am and i am not sleeping.