j a n e t

my day started off rather shitty. i got railed at by my dad when i left my house wearing that outfit. i was rushing to not be late and had no time to change. basically what my dad said was i look like a slut, want to seduce men, and if he were in the church and he see people like me, he'll be so pissed, he'll walk out of the church. along those lines. it was very hurtful but it's been put aside already. it's very good talking to people about stuff that hurts you, and it makes u feel better when everything's let out.

so then i left my house with my father still fuming and then it started to rain! i started to think this is bad. then i hate men sometimes. LIKE SERIOUSLY. it rained so heavily. then i wanted to cross the road to get to the bus stop. and i was stuck in the middle waiting for this van which was taking forever to drive past. when it finally did, 2 men who were on the van were leering so happily at me, at my clothes or at me drenched in the rain or whatever. FREAKIN IDIOTS!!!! damm cheekopeks! i was drenched like i just bathed AGAIN. i bathed before i came out of the house and because of these 2 selfish men, my stockings got soo cold and my knees were hurting like im having rheumatism. i cursed and showed my third finger, that was how angry i was. i could dash across the road, but i could get killed by the van. and then i had no tissue on me! i felt like breaking down at the bus stop because it seemed like timely retribution for not heeding my dad's advice.

i was watching Human Trafficking on muhaimin's recommendation (on his blog) too. and i felt super angry. why are girls treated like such mere objects of lust and be bend according to their rules and be under oppression.

why must girls not indulge in what they feel looks good on them just because it might be seductive? sometimes i think my dad belongs to the middle east countries with all that sexist idealogy. i was covering more skin than i would have been wearing jeans and even though my dress sense was weird, that doesnt mean that i have to follow everybody else and dress like a carbon copy of the next girl. WHY! i was not asking for it, did my face say please stare at me coz i feel good when you stare at my body? so, can i box the person staring and say that person was asking for it?

whoever you are reading this blog, i really hope you control your staring behaviour, especially if you are a GUY. stare discreetly AT LEAST. gosh i dont know how to tell you how irritating it is to be stared at so long like i am an zoo animal.

i tugged my shorts to show my dad that at least i wore some shorts and he was still angry. tough to please!


my dining room!! how it looks in orangey light. wish i had a tripod!

yay i love my dining room wallpaper.

the bible says Eve held the ability to tempt Adam. but because of this, her sorrow and contraception was greatly multiplied. her desire shall be for her husband and he shall rule over her. meaning she will desire for her husband to listen to her, but he will always have the upperhand. right? correct me if im wrong.

if there ever is a battle that cannot be won, this is it. the gender inequality battle.