j a n e t

i'm feeling down.
christmas doesn't make me happy.
i'm dreading it.
no money for presents.
no one to bring to church services.
i dont want to go for so many services.
i dont know how to answer for myself.
my loved ones? sometimes i dont know who they are anymore.

i'm tired. and feeling inferior.
i got scratched by a cat i patted and had fed when it was a kitten.

but at least i saw sunflower boy today. that makes me cheer up a little bit. even though he was with another girl..

at least i got to watch Curse of the Golden Flower today.

let this entry have sweet endings, lest no one wants to hear from me anymore.