appreciation is very expensive indeed

i can't describe how much i hate the world sometimes.

i hate how diligence is not rewarded, when i try so hard to be liked by my bf's housemates but one doesn't help in putting a good word for me. despite all my efforts in pleasing him, asking him how he is, washing his dishes occassionally, he is still adamant in house rules, in my exile of his house.

i hate how i try so hard in working at work, and sometimes having to scream at the kitchen hands when their obiang chinese music is making it difficult to hear the customers over the sushi counters, and me having to yell in a i-told-you-so voice that there wasn't enough change for dispensal, and me having to count out 15 ten-cent coins to return to the customers, all during the peak hour when thousands of customers seem to flock like the most horrid zombie mob in L4D2.

i really dislike screaming. i really do.

i hate how hard i have been trying to find a housemate for suds' room so that he could move into my house and his housemates not appreciating the gesture, telling me that i should go through suds to go through the landlord yada yada yada. OH PLEASE. in the outside world, the real estate agents get money out of bringing possible clients to rent the room. i do not ask for a reward, but it is nice to be appreciated for posting ads and showing random strangers around the house.

ha.... i don't care if i take things too personally. i am made with emotions. is it any surprise that my disappointment could cause me to eventually become emotionally detached one day? can anyone not take this personally when all these matters so much to me.



i hate how difficult it is to get a job in australia because of my race and nationality. it makes me want to start my own business. do i need to make up an accent and wear branded australian clothes.............gosh i hate how life is so difficult sometimes.