bad haircut

I'm not ugly. I'm not ugly. I'M NOT UGLY!! Don't make me ugly....please.!!

Feeling so inferior amongst all the girls and ugly right now. Why do all the girls look ok but i look sooo exceptionally voldemort-like a consolation to other girls who feel ugly, to look at me and say "hey luckily i'm prettier than her." i feel like a ba bok on the first day of an operation, trying out all the makeup, forgetting to trim the bushy eyebrows. Then i feel like a mockery of sorts when everybody cheers me on and make me laugh when later i realise the joke is myself...

Would you be a normal plain jane nobody or a ugly somebody that everyone knows of? Why should i dread the day i had eagerly anticipated so much now, after having seen only 1 picture of myself in clear view on facebook. Why do i beg the dentist whom i dislike in order to have my braces taken off, in order to look distractingly ugly on that day itself.

I really don't need people to say things like silly girl! You're pretty! Or people to say things like you wanted the picture to be up on facebook what...that day got mirror you don't know how to check yourself huh...you're a model so be professional don't be a crybaby...

Hell i'll draw your face like mine was done. You don't need to be a professional to make a person look awful. Even chloe can pick up a colour pencil and paint your face and call herself professional.

I'm not a professional model, i don't know of any stakes that i may risk personally now blogging this entry. I have a problem...it's fear. Even people with faith do not walk blindly. I feel like there's nothing to hold onto. Even the only closest friend can get angry with me because i wrote this entry because i am expected so much more than i can give, like how it might be like during the d'dolls dance.

Other than maybe the makeup might be better (but still the same), can someone teach me how to get confidence back? I don't have any right now.