confused.

i am not a boy.

we girls don't do things such as organizing meetings at starbucks just to point out each other's flaws just because the "sin of omission is far more serious than the sin of commission" and that we have to do something scary because "true cowards (are) the ones who know the presence of a problem and choose to casually ignore it."

i never asked for anybody to point out my flaws. duhh i know some of them. all i wanted was the talk that everyone wanted and for everyone to be happy. (cheap talk since everyone claims to want happiness for everybody)

isnt happiness formed when DESPITE of the flaws, we can all tolerate and love each other? we can in the gentleness of the mind and spirit grow together, in a cell group that is our NURSING ground.

if i really need a battle ground i could go the internet forums, or the workplace. i dont need a place where everyone points out each other flaws and blame each other for stepping on mines placed here and there, for using mean words against each other.

i dont need a place where i am deemed as impatient because i switched off the lights for the light sticks photo-taking when everyone else is not ready. maybe i should have waited and screamed for another 15 more mins like an old hag of a burnt-out teacher before everyone should gets ready. i would have hoped that in future before initiating any ideas, i would not be held back by reprimands and fears.

maybe in near future, i should just keep my mouth shut and look maturedly BORING, because this is what the cell group needs- an overly matured me, dried out and fearful and insecure.

if i am insecure, i would not have blogged about this. coz only insecure people would just keep quiet. ----sounds familiar? it's only words... to justify yourself till the cows come home.

"i demand u to acknowledge my presence!!"

"i demand u to come to post-service dinner and hang out even if you're feeling unwell because u're causing the cell group to feel awkward if you dont!!!"

"i demand u to not ask jamie to be your chauffeur and accompany u home!"

"i demand u to thank me for all that i have done!!!!!! the bystanders are doing nothing yet u love them and thank them"

"i demand u to absorb lessons from church services coz obviously you dont!!!"

if you're wondering why there is no cell group growth despite having happening people, it's because some of us are too absorbed at the negative sides in people instead of looking at the beautiful sides and thinking some of us are too great all the time.

thank you for the efforts but i really do not need your (fat) help.


i havent seen this kinda thing for a looooooong time:

PRINT SCREENED!!!

haha thanks elicia! it made me smile. :)