nivla os revelc

i have, in my facebook settings, blocked alvin from seeing my wall, status updates, photos tagged of me. YET, i just checked the facebook application and he is STILL number one on my FanCheck (previously StalkerCheck) list! what could he have been checking for- since like 1 month ago? why is he still number one??

and i have opened my blog to make it private for maybe 3 weeks at most. and i believe he has been viewing my blog since 2 weeks ago...

you want to talk about creeps? he is the picture you can find next to the word "creep" in the dictionary.

at the risk of sounding too mean and uppity-mighty-im-damm-hot, i will pen down this post-- i am very tired and unappreciative of guys like that. my friend likes to say "hey at least got people like you right?" but i wish with all my might that this friend could experience the exact same thing. it is just downright frustrating. i am blocking friends whom i want them to view my blog to stop viewing my blog just because of the privacy settings. i am losing connections with friends all because of a stupid idiot guy.

i dont like meaningless pursuits. i did not try to lead him on i promise, i was mean to him ON PURPOSE. why cant he find other girls to pick on? why cant he up his standards if he really wants to continue his harassment? am i as inferior as him? it makes me so embarrassed to be teased by friends about him sometimes. if the most eligible boy wants to talk to me non-stop and i should be teased about that, it would have been flattering, so note the difference.

i just feel like crying now (edit: i cried) and i dont think anyone would help me to talk to him and tell him to back off. sucks

he, his looks, his ugly lecherous-feel lazy eyes, his dry and sometimes smelly breath, his lack of style, his immature mindset, his lousy english, his lack of ability to continue a proper english sentence, his uninteresting nature, his smugness and childish behaviour of arguing senselessly, his annoying lack of friends he could bother, his constant disturbing of my other innocent friends, his way of making me feel so ashamed and regretful of my original be-nice-to-others actions, his way of making me reveal my ugly nature... he is a lifesize cockroach in my life. why cant anyone understand that?

even if there is only one guy left on the planet earth, i would stab myself in my woman parts and die rather than to even have him have the small little inkling of that thought that he could desire to have me.

i wished i could hire a pretend boyfriend. and i wish i could stop thinking about all these and stop feeling this miserable right now.