j a n e t

it's been so long since i have visited or do anything on blogger. let's see! what has happened!

kelvin treated weiliang and i to pasta de waraku~!! i had squid ink pasta! was my first time having that dish and it was fun lol. save for a black black face that is. anyway!! the next day i went to shit and realised WHY IS MY SHIT SOOOO BLACK! omg i think it's the squid ink.

lately my life has been that of an autistic person (almost). i do repetitative things, on my own especially. sometimes i feel like my laughter is dried up and that life is quite meaningless (hence the reason why i dont think i would ever want to bring another soul into this world). then i realised that investing time and effort in friends is so difficult. it's so hard to make someone stay with me, i wish i was the first to go so i wont feel like im being left. i wish you go now, so you could faster come back. are there any person in existence wanting to die a slow death?

it doesnt matter how many people there are in the world, when you're pining for that one person. that one phone call- if i matter as much to you, is the public phones not provided for you? you might as well be gone. even when you're sitting next to me, i feel so distant to you. your mind is engaged elsewhere. your heart has only pity for me.

now when im heart-broken, who can i look for now? who do i whine to now? who can i trust not to take advantage of me when im in despair?

im so irritated, sometimes my head feels like bursting and i want to hit someone... do random things.

those "concerned" messages and "miss you" EVERYWHERE from restaurant city to my phone IRKS me to DEATH. when i complained that i am feeling frustrated because my aunt says my phone bills are over-limit, you said ok, not to call or sms so much, but it is always always your name that pops up reporting h1n1 cases in singapore or what you're doing, what am i doing? i do not want to know!!!!! bloody hell save my sms my foot.

and i hate comments on my facebook pictures, and you putting down my friends. i think your breath stinks. i think you have a lazy eye and that you deserve it for being so lazy to train your eye nerves.

really, please, leave me alone.