j a n e t

jamie mentioned on her blog power of the spoken word. dont know how to prove it yet, but quite true.

anyway i am terminated from the job. so now i am part of the unemployed. sucks. the agency just called and say the company dont need me anymore. i was half afraid it's coz the manager read my blog or something! guessed not coz she took me to lunch in her car. was very depressed coz it was so sudden and now i have a very short time to get a new job. damm that they should inform me 3 days earlier but they did not.

tried caling alot of people but in the end D picked up my call and talked to me. where were my people in need are friends indeed.. i felt super emo. just kept reminding myself the joy of the lord is my strength or some other happy thoughts.

then i went to city hall and walked around like a lost soul among the crowds. until Kenny came to meet me at 9plus at vivo and we ate at Carl's Junior (happy food) and then he droved me around to Mustafa and i was happy coz i finally did the thing people do after 12, but sadly didnt find it as fun as people described. wanted to buy my Ortho toothbrush (for braces) but some people kept blocking me. and then i received calls from my mother to tell me not to go for the chalet. then my dad send the sms which left me crying in mustafa. "If u dont come home tonite i am not paying yr education. No bargaining."

he never threatened my education with me and that was like the lowest already. Kenny was the gentleman and told me to go home etc. well you can believe my father's words coz he stopped paying for my sister's education. it was my mother paying for hers.

i think i should stop my degree course and find a job to pay for mine just to tell my dad that he is immature and i do not need him to survive.

just because my sister get into so much trouble means i will..? they say i keep comparing myself to my sister, but it is only they who started it. "i dont want you to get pregnant blablabla"

at least i am clever to know that i wont get pregnanted by people. and even if i do, i would choose a eligible son-in-law for them right?!?! i am Janet and i got class. theyre very insulting.

all my 20 years of my life i've been the best girl, until some other people ruin it for me. no holiday trips no staying out. no more trust even though i did my job as a good daughter.

i hate it. i really do. it's so unfair and i dont know what i can do about it. there's so much earwax is my father's ears. and he's like the biggest hypocrite ever at times.

i tried every means to understand his POV. like if i am a parent, would i allow my child to go out. but i think i would! only coz my child is like 20 and capable of mature thinking already and it is her holidays and it is only fair for her to enjoy herself. i know i can trust my daughter enough in thousand of days bringing her up.

i tried thinking that they need my presence as a decoration item in the house. ok yay one big daughter at home makes the house look prettier. maybe they feel more comforted. but isnt that so selfish.

i had so much fun plans but they were all runined. i dont want to give birth anymore. no more grandchildren for them. put a stop to this parenting shit. there, spoken word. may it come true.