counting the chicks before they are hatched.
when i get my pay, i shall buy some plain cheap dresses (below $18) and ombre-dye them myself. i shall spend $50 at the 2 salvation armies. and then the rest of money shall be up to my own discretion... hurhur.
i like this faux fur shrug i saw in september's 17 magazine. it cost $119. and i wish i can own a faux leopard print cardigan/ jacket like that of miley cyrus's.
in preparation
have you ever thought what happens if one day you're gone, who shall maintain your email, social network, blog accounts? have you thought about your legacy and the stories left behind?
coz i always do. in fact i have kept a secret blog. within my blogger dashboard, i have posting access to FIVE blogs. hahaha. one to janetyang, another to janetpteltd, yet another to wfourtwonine, and one to post series of nice pictures for my viewing pleasure, and last is a blog i write stuff that's private, only for me to record my thoughts about people and life.
a few days ago i thought of a fantastic idea.. i could give like maybe 8 friends a different character of my password. these 8 friends may not know each other. so if i should ever die a unnatural death, then you guys can unlock and read them. isnt it brilliant! ok i just touched my wooden table. im not trying to unwittingly curse myself, but sometimes life can unexpectantly be cut short.
i'm been over a suicidal stage in life.. you know, like the super emo kind, wander around the streets, crying on public transport and looking down windows period, and listening to emo music? thank God i'm over that stage. though life can be hard at times, yes, unbearing and meaningless, like why would parents give birth to me and etc, however, i think everyone has a purpose in life, and they have to find it. in my religion, commiting suicide is the direct way to hell. not every religion shares this belief but for me, the thought of being in hell scares me so much, i'd rather bear with what i go through in real life.
comparison is always endless. i tend to think that im worse-off than others, even when others could think they are worse-off than me (irony). during moments when i think i have lousy parents or lousy siblings or lousy studies or im a good-for-nothing, i have tried looking at the better side, and learnt to release those pent-up frustrations through ways like getting myself busy, reading books and magazines. dicovering someone who is way bigger than you helps as well. there were so many moments i just feel like, hey i know who's taking care of these things for me and im going to be alright in the end.
ok blabbering coz i just cant find a better way to say it.
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