most awkward girl EVER.

see CK thinking "wahlao" and kenny snickering away in the backgrd haha

i was looking through facebook, looking at the people i knew in jc, and then thinking back of the past.

i realise i was like, so damm awkward in jc, it's embarrassing.

these will provide some LOLs for you. really.

1 i cheered like a mad ungraceful woman during orientations. i was always the one screaming the loudest. or being the most enthu.

2 i stare at guys unabashfully, squealed, tried to look chio, etc.

it seemed as if i could only bond with the girls, through talking about eye candies etc.
NOTE! in primary and secondary school, the term "eye candy" was never heard of. in JC, i was practically behaving like i was bred in a girl's school all the days of my life. common discussions were gossip-- the senoir boys, the rugby players, the clubbing, etc.

wasted life, seriously. waste of time and energy. i wish i can slap the janet in J1 awake. behaving like a horny desperate cheekobu, i was, a complete disgrace to myself!!! am trying to curb myself now, however. honestly, i hope i am doing a fine job out of it. sigh, ok, nevermind.

3 i do badly for exams

go to principal's office-- got threatened to retain, cried in office, refused to retain, continued my wasted life.

had my name flashed on the HOD during assembly in a list of students: wall of shame kinda thing. had my name read out as well. cried again on the way to the office.

boys can be stupid, but girls!?!? i was the few girls to be supervised to study. cried when Ms K shouted at me, in front of a whole lecture theatre full of people who did badly for exams (ie rugby boys etc). damm humiliating. i shouted back at her, crying angrily and she hugged me UGH.

4 i played tamagotchi in the school library

and then i turned on the volume. the whole library could hear me but i didnt care

5 i had a crush on this fair-skinned boy

and called him sunflower boy!!! i used chalk to write i love (his name) on the ground- basically crazy!! and then his classmates' locker was spoilt--i tried to close it back but to no avail-i wrote a note, left it inside and i think it read "your lock is spoilt"- i dont know if i had left my name. seriously dont know what was happening inside my skull....

i gave him a freakin expensive sunflower on vday.

i got discussed by his classmates obviously. i am seriously crazy.

i am beside myself whenever it is MT class- i say the stupidest things.

and i didnt have close friends to support my madness obviously! it would have been better if i had people to go, "JANET....!! what you trying to do...!" but nooo, i think i was really crazy.

i think we're both inside this picture

6 i put worms in a guy's water bottle

i was so damm angry with him. but it was gross and in broad daylight. i think people like gossip girl could have been spying on me, informing the rest of the good guys of the school that i am crazy.

==

no matter how much i confess and try to make myself feel better, the humiliation is still very much remembered, replayed excruciatingly painful in my mind, whenever the mind is dull. so yes, that's how i screwed up 2 years (potentially more) of my life, and felt so uncomfortable associating to sajc people outside those i am close to. it felt as if, "i think you know something about me that i dont, and i dont think it's nice. tell me what are the bad things you know about me!!!!"

haha. ok. the end.