j a n e t

misery overcomed me when i look at the quiet corner in the classroom. i contemplated moving over. thought about leaving the classroom, anywhere to get as far from him.

i could feel his flitting gazes at me. those disgusting eyes of a creep studying my face or something- as casual as he did it, as nonchalant as a harmless sheep. wolf in disguise i say. what is he thinking of doing next? hasnt he had enough of torturing someone? chills went down my spine, as i remembered the nightmare i had a few days earlier.

slowly i grew annoyed. i shade my face from him. i hate his stares. i wanted to talk to someone, but i was sitting too far. bitter loneliness overcame me as i realised i could not talk to anyone without him staring or listening like it was his right to. he stole the central seat and now i am alone.

his words kept ringing in my head.."I did not know u could mark your territory in class tat way. Its quite new to me."
because i was nice to him, he stole my seat. i kept asking WHY ME. WHY ME. WHY HE PICKS MY SEAT. so he thinks i am easy to bully? how dare he. how dare he felt so righteous. COWARD.

i bet he must have came to class 30minutes earlier just so he could take my place.

evil thoughts came to my head. i want to dump all sorts of disgusting things into his bag. i want to throw coffee on his ugly hair. i want to slap his face. i want to come early to class to book that seat. i find myself going down to his level. being childish. being like a kindergarten kid.

but i dont want to! i dont want to act like a kid over that seat. but everything became worse after all his smses. i wanted to be gracious but now i cannot stand him. how he tried to take over my friends with a lousy teenage magazine and how he says hi to everybody. how he tries to take over whatever i have. i am annoyed.

i hate myself for hating someone like this.

the venom of hatred flowed through every vein of my body. i asked my aunt, "have you hated anyone before in your class? were there anyone who were outcast in your class?"
she replied, "no.. actually i find people are growing to be more evil and self-centered..."

i am very miserable. i just want to quit class.