j a n e t

sometimes i dont know why i blog for.

like, do i blog just to keep a public persona and create a good public image of myself? i could make myself look like i am having the time of my life or that i have the bestest friend in the whole wide world, even though i am not. if the purpose for blogging is so, then blogging would be really superficial

or, as jiawen says, her purpose of blogging is to be able to look back on the days of her life. then in that case, it would be assumed one blogs faithfully and to write the innermost thoughts and to capture the feelings that one had felt that day, and all these that the person blog about should be true and not seek to please anyone. for example, if i got pissed by a certain person on that day, i would have blog and totally say what i felt about this certain person.

then, some people say blog! so that i would be able to find out what goes on in your life! in that case, wouldnt this encourage one to distant the blogger, just coz they felt a friendship is maintained through the virtual sphere. besides, i know sometimes i check a person's blog only coz i find it entertaining. sooo do i blog to entertain people, as if like i am a paid entertainer, akin to being a clown?

all this said and done, i really do feel like shutting my blog and making it private or something.

i love blogging, i truly do. i feel that my thoughts are collected and processed and i get to review what happened that day. also, i feel that my language skills are maintained or have improved as well.

but blogging publicly makes me feel empty and hurt sometimes. i cant say what i feel without being blasted. i cant express what happened to me that caused me to be so upset, knowing that because i have set the blog to be public, i would be subjected to scrutiny and vile discussion. i would fret myself thinking, should i have said that? what would people think of me when i say i have done this and that?

then i thought: if all my friends around me were to shut their blogs, i'd be sad as well, coz i have totally enjoyed reading about what goes on in their life and then i have things to talk about when i see them.

still, if it makes them happy, then so be it. i still keep in contact with friends who doesnt blog.

and so,

when the day comes when you see Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage, then you know i have gone and that im sorry for it.