j a n e t

the weather's making me RESTLESS!!! +no work = super sian.

applied for australia university today. CURTIN university, perth. dawn dawn dawn!!! so you wont see me much anymore if NTU rejects my appeal. i only want NTU art design media, nothing else. :'(

cried today coz my aunt said this: you kids nowadays are very naive you know. do you think the universities will make space for you? you didnt do very well you know. and what about the girl in the newspapers?! they [ntu, nus] only want the best-- so they have to accomodate poly students, foreign students, and those who redid their a levels. you think university so easy to get in ah?

donno why i cried too. just heart-broken. maybe it's quite naive of me. but i still felt really unjustified. stupid dragon batch.

do you think i want to be born in this year?
granted, this batch may be bigger but surely, as schools have been able to increase resources and make plans to accomodate students in primary and secondary stages, they could anticipate this problem and do likewise.

we worked hard. how much more you want of us?
i was disappointed by the rejection. BUT others have worked harder. they did so much better than students in the past years, yet they're not admitted into the same course.

"be able to think, reason and deal confidently with the future, have courage and conviction in facing adversity"
--http://www.moe.gov.sg/corporate/desired_outcomes3.htm
so how to deal confidently with future when nothing is ever good enough? As, S papers, CCA, CIP..what else huh. my remaining 4hours of sleep? my soul?!

worse-off students with nowhere to go.
we're mere students, all wanting to have a good and sound education. to be able to live our parents' and teachers' dream--get that degree. to ensure a good future. hey! to ensure that there's a future is good enough. now, im worse-off than a diploma-holder. if i choose to take the poly path, i would have wasted 3 years. maybe 2 coz there's direct admission to year 2. but i'd have to wait till next year to apply. yeah yeah im stupid, should have applied for poly early early before the univeristy-posting results came out or when ALevel results came up. NOOO wait, i should have applied right after OLevels. 11points i got--i'll be labelled dumb if i chose to take the poly path among my peers. not forgetting that stigma. now, i'm dumbest--fooled.

please, please, i beg you
as i type each word in my appeal, i'm crying out. i plead, i beg, i beseech, i cry, i kowtow. please take me in.

"be constituents of a gracious society"
--http://www.moe.gov.sg/corporate/desired_outcomes3.htm

this is what you said. is the education system so merciless and without compassion? why have you failed me at the last crucial stage? tell me, how do you define gracious society.
1) taking in foreign students with more money, more brains while the local students can go somewhere else.

2) separating students from their loved ones-- family and friends as they are send abroad.

3) not preach what you teach, until everyone gets worked up and forums get flooded.

4) none of the above.

i'm going to australia, just like the rest
so many local students study in australia. i never thought i might end up in australia too. yeah, i'm having faith: those who made it big goes overseas. and probably not come back.

"Think global, but be rooted to Singapore", "have the tenacity to fight against the odds and not quit"
--http://www.moe.gov.sg/corporate/desired_outcomes3.htm

how noble everything sounds. it's like: if you have it, we want you. if not, just scram. you mean it's not like what i think? just how am i supposed to think.
how can i not have faith in the education system here--i would have let my children study elsewhere.

there was so much hullabaloo over the talent brain-drain and how singaporeans migrate overseas. now it's no longer a GP essay that i have to mull over for dear life, but a future and hope that i am fighting for. to the government, we're just numbers. statistics, a pain in the ass even. i'm really sorry that things should end this way. i try to understand your predicament but it's beyond me. please give us students a future.